So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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