so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
