this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
smell my finger.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
