in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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