no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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