I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
