I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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