I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think your dad took our porno
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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