did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize