I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there was a trapeze. enough said
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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