im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
