that's an acceptable place to lick
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
