There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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