and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i will never coherently bang her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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