he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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