I feel great
I just peed on a car
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
