Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize