just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
