Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
