he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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