Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
