Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
should my penis look like a turkey
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
