Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
