I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
