Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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