what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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