I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
