i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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