Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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