i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Farmville is her only friend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i dont even know how to be here
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
