Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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