He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
