she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
