You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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