When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
