Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
