were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize