i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
