he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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