I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
