And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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