i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
