I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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