God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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