I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
