we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
