i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize