called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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