google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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