try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
