this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
