she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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