first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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