I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
