I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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