I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
