Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had to cum in my sink.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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