at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
