hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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