I heard we made out
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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