someone owes me an orgasm
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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