Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
