to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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